cracking myself up
So… a couple of nights ago as I was knitting away on a present I noticed how far I had yet to go. I proceeded to lament, “oh my gawd I am not making any progress on this at all. It will never be done in time to ship it”.
Swift action was called for here so I decided to move the distractions out of the picture. I switched from watching Will and Grace with my girls and moved to another room and put on some holiday type music. I love Will and Grace and when they aren’t bickering or torturing each other, my girls are hysterical and very distracting.
I also vowed to just knit (while humming along to the carols of course) and not stop so often (every 3 minutes or so) to love on what I was knitting. No admiring how the colours were playing so nicely with each other and no petting or stroking the lovely soft fibers, which honestly takes a bit of the fun out of it for me. Hey, I was on a mission with a deadline and well, I am pretty serious about my deadlines. Ok, stop laughing.
I moved myself, got all cozy settled in for a long winters knit and “got down” to it. Some serious knitting time ensued and you know it did go a wee bit faster. Heavy emphasis on the wee.
All of this knit time obsessing I was doing (I am sure we all see the procrastinating fact, that all of that moving and changing are valuable knit minutes) got me thinking and… .
At some point the acronym RPM popped into my head. Rows per Minute. Rpms get it? Ha ha… this tickled my funny bone pretty hard. My daughter Rabia says that these moments are only funny to me. Probably true but I don’t let that kind of deatail stop me.
I had this whole knit-time measuring system going in seconds right? When it hit me rows per minute? Are you flippin’ insane? The row you are on has 160 stitches in it. Seriously how do think this is working out for you?
I was a little (a lot) disappointed. So much so, that I even for a brief moment I entertained the possibility of starting a another very small project. A scarf for the dog maybe? Mittens… or hey socks even.
I did not, and I get credit for this, instead I kept eating away my stitches on my big project and as every stitch slipped by it said, “stitch per minute dumb ass?! Seriously what were you thinking? It’s stitches (steeeches) not rows you start with in this unit of time-knit-measuring madness thing you’ve got going. How can you start with rows when it is us you need to make those rows? We are the building blocks and frankly we are little insulted We expected more from you.” I will spare you the gory details of the rest of this tirade from the stitches or the tone they took with me. Just know they sounded suspiciously like my mother. Needless to say I had made a grand error and they were pissed.
Your knitting talks to you right?
In order to appease the stitch I decided that STPM stitch per minute was, of course, the only way to begin this system. I then timed myself and came up with something like 41 stitches per minute on garter using size 5.00mm needles with my BFL sport weight.
I assumed that was slow. I have been under the impression that I am a slow knitter. I have been told this by many and I do hang with some pretty fast knitters. So… stands to reason right? My hands are sore from dyeing and do not move as quickly as they used to and I am easily distracted. I know.. duh.
I then decided to work towards a personal best on this project and see if I could get to 60 STPM by the time I was done with it and believe you me I have ample opportunity to reach this goal.
As of this morning I am up to 49.5. It does vary depending on what is going on around me.
So my question to you is this: Is that fast or slow?
I really need to know because I am putting names to the speeds. I was going to be Slo-mo Newton but that won’t work if I am not in fact slow.
So what is your STPM?
Sounds like a really bad pick up line doesn’t it?
Also all of you speedy knitting friends of mine, and you know who you are… don’t make me send these st(b)itches after you.
I know time management. Whatever.
Comments are closed.
What a great post. You are a wonderful person. Seriously. In just 6 paragraphs, you have turned my sucky day into a hilarious day. I am determined now that I’ll calculate my STPM tonight and see how I compare to Speedy McNewton!
I don’t know, but that sounds pretty fast to me. Then again, I’ve owned slowknitter.com for years. I think there’s a certain amount of comfortable sense memory for knitting speed. I’ve taken Speedy McPhee’s class (and changed over to Lever knitting) and I am still slow. I became a better purler with the lever knitting (which was my goal) but I also realized that powering through my knits wasn’t an enjoyable process. I want to slow down and experience my knitting in a way that’s happy and therapeutic. Instead of managing my knitting speed, I manage my expectations of what I can accomplish in a short period of time. That realization has made Christmas knitting MUCH more enjoyable.
I have decided to send chocolate as Christmas gifts this year. I now have a good start on Christmas 2010 knitting.
But (grin) are you also taking into the account when the finish line is so close you can taste it you knit faster? (Or if you think you might run out of yarn, some how knitting faster occurs, in hopes of getting through the cast off before you have admit defeat by mear meters.) Oh, and when the project is soo close…you knit faster, and that whole just one more row thing….and bang, it is now 5 hours before your morning alarm goes off…but hey, you are admiring your finished work of art…in your pj’s…thinking should I darn in the ends now, or wake up early to do it?)
PS I don’t think 40 some odd stitches per minute is slow at all!
Dear depraved dyer: I have just completed 3 rows of 48 stiches in the past 24 hour period. (=4 stiches per hour or something) I am proud. Anyone deserving of my hand-knitted love knows that every stich is made with love ( and a few curses). They are also quite use to receiving a ball of yarn and a pattern for Christmas. If they love you, it won’t matter how fast you are. Knitted items are appropriate at any time. period. exclamation point.
Way last century when I was in high school I procrastinated by knitting. I would put on an LP and listen and knit. I started a competition with myself to see how far I could get during one song, then an entire album. I got pretty fast and I was doing stranded colorwork and arans. Now I am in a new century and my fingers and wrists are sooo much further down the road to ruin and I have slowed down some, but still stick to my procrastination roots and knit whenever I can.
Good luck with the Christmas knitting. I just bought some pumpkin-y reddish orange alpaca and I think I’ll begin my Halloween knitting tonight. Christmas is way too soon for me to get anything done now!!!
What a hoot! I’m so glad I’m not the only one trying to figure RPM/STPM. Sometimes when I think I’m running out of yarn, I either, knit faster so my yarn doesn’t know how close I’m cutting it or I knit even slower, so the yarn has time to multiply.
I am a slow knitter with no desire to speed up, even when I am working on stockinette, worsted weight, soon-to-be-gifted fabric. I *will* knit while walking through stores shopping for t.p., and while standing in the checkout line, and while waiting for, say, my daughter to run a couple of library books up to the return chute. My “speed up” means more knitting time, not faster stitches. And I’m extremely stubborn about that.
(Having knitted in meetings next to some really efficient knitters.)
I don’t know my stitches per minute, I’m just comforted to know that other people play crazy head games with themselves while knitting. My current one is to complete a whole row from the time I see my daughter leave the school doors until she gets to me when I’m picking her up from school.
Well, Speedy McPhee can chime in to correct, but I believe the “world” average is something like 60-70 stpm, but you know that has to do with efficiency and such. You know, she even teaches a class on it
A very good class, where many of us were in the 20-40 stpm…..slow by some standards. I think the 48 is awesome (and way faster than me…man, I better get off this computer and practice the lever knitting!!).
Happy holiday knitting!! Poor snowboarder will be lucky if his hat is done. I’ve had the yarn ready for two days and still haven’t cast on. Oy.
Be careful that while you’re pushing yourself to knit quickly that you don’t strain yourself and make your STM rate zero. Do warmups and cool downs!
well i am at ZERO NILCH NONE NADA NIL for the day cuz you made me get a wheel!
picture this…”Merry christmas, mom. yup cashmere. yep it’s a very nice cuff indeed!” Instead of fingerless mitts, how bout just cuffs for christmas.
off to knit and do kidly stuff…
Well, considering that I’m doing well to get 21 stitches done in a minute, 49 STPM sounds pretty darn good to me! I’m also working on my holiday gift knitting, and having to just ignore everything around me and keep the needles moving or else I get distracted.
Trying to improve upon a personal best STPM time sounds like a good way to make the long stretches of gift knitting go faster =D
I’ve always considered myself a pretty slow knitter, so of course I had to try this out. Knitting straight garter stitch on US#6 with STR Lightweight:
— if there are no distractions and my fingers don’t get tangled up and I don’t have to pull out more yarn and I actually make every stitch without missing and I knit like the house is on fire: 51 STPM;
— since the above never (or rarely happens)… my actual average over several trials is about 45 STPM if I’m really trying for production;
— since I never (or rarely) try for production… I’m guessing I’m actually closer to around 40 STPM in real life situations;
— except at Wednesday night knitting, where I may knit 20 or 30 stitches the entire evening.
Sounds like you’re quite the speed demon!
This is a comment totally off the subject but after the holidays, I’d love to buy some yarn the colors of the frosty morning photo and the gray blue background of the blog. I love your photographs. I think the spider web was my favorite. Nebraska Knitter
What a hilarious post . . . . . . and the comments! Well, OF COURSE, my knitting talks to me and runs through all sorts of randomness, solving problems, and mostly thinking about the person to be gifted! I used to be a really fast knitter . . . . the needles just flew! Now . . . . .. not so much! No excuse . . . just enjoying the process and the distractions! Definitely get more done without a tv program or movie! I also never set myself up for holiday or birthday gift giving . . . I like to gift whenever I finish the project, not for any special occasion, other than to just be able to surprise someone I love! Oh and knitting with the knitters . . . . . I would be lucky complete any . . . . . I am way too easily off task! Ok, all that said . . . . . . I am going to cast on something with stockinette and check that SPM thing
I too would like to vote that your “A Well Spun Garden” photo becomes a new colorway. Your pictures are always so pretty and inspiring…
Well, Tina, I really can’t knit at all. I only THINK I can. I tried the experiment: 2.5 mm. addi turbo lace(the formula 1 of knitting); STR lightweight(Thraven leftovers). I cast on 30 stitches and knit a few rows to give myself a foundation. All was well. I seemed to be speeding along. I then WATCHED my phone to see how long a minute was. WOW! It seemed to take forever. I got myself set up for that first stitch and waited for the time to change. Away I went!!!!! I missed stitches and had to go at them 2 or 3 times, I stuck my right needle through the stitch below, I sometimes had to throw the yarn as many as 3 times for 1 stitch. It was less than glorious. To make an already long story short-I cannot knit if I’m aware of a timer. I never got more than 20 stitches to the minute and once, it was a miserable 17. You knit 2 1/2 times faster than I do. No wonder I have to start Christmas presents in January to be ready for the NEXT December. Cheers and red wine(do you think that might be the problem?), Hazel.
Well, I have always considered myself a speedy knitter, but when I timed myself in Steph’s class, I knit (with my usual method) about 54 st/min. We won’t talk about how slow, and with what language (cover your ears) I was able to knit as a beginning lever knitter!
I think the world’s record (one long row, knit stitch) is 114st/min. I have been the fastest knitter at the San Juan County fair for several years (54st/min). I think 49.5 st/min is fast!
You go girl!
Sarah
You’re definitely fast, Tina. I’m up there with you around 50stpm with good wool and nickel needles. Tonight with dishcloth cotton and KP nickel circs I got 36stpm. (Two minutes counting, divided by two. Lots of mistakes, like the first time I did a timed typing trial in high school. lol)
You’re not slow. Knitting just takes time. It’s slow magic, remember?
P.S.) You’re not the only one who finds those moments funny. I love ‘em. :o)
Slow, my @ss! As Leslie would agree, I would say it’s more about focus than speed. It’s hard to focus on knitting during this holiday season too with other crafty but non-fibery things needing to get done.
“Appease the stitch.” Honey, you so had me in stitches–it’s so true! I would say I do about 45 when I’m warmed up–and that Stephanie and Kaffe Fassett are two people I’ve watched knit that it’s like their fingers are a blur compared to mine. But I still, even with my grab-the-yarn-each-stitch method, go at a good clip.
Depends what is on TV – Dr Who speeds me up, those Cybermen and Darleks cause my fingers to run away from them at quite a clip.
At the moment my shoulders and arms are so sore from shoveling snow that I am giving knitting a rest.
Tina, you cracked me up once again. Remember, it’s not a competition.
I used to think I was fast at about 90 (shetland jumperweight on US 4s, stocking stitch in the round – optimal knitting for me), but Meg Swansen does 120-140.
Maybe we should sponsor a “So You Think You Can Knit” TV show, and get Meg, Kaffe, Steph, and other speedy knitters to be the contestants?
This is a great piece. Very thought provoking. I like the sort of ending that leaves it opn to personal input. Makes it work for just about everyone I think. Nicely done! I
I like to gift whenever I finish the project, not for any special occasion, other than to just be able to surprise someone I love!
Great blog! I AM a slow knitter who thought I was fast until I took Steph’s class. I had never timed myself before but turned out I knit less than 23 stitches a minute. Very slow so you are fast in my book. Your problem is the people you knit with, all over achievers!
Have a great holiday season and be glad you left MD! We are snowed in!
Use Amy’s idea at the next Sock Summit. A “so you think you can knit” contest. Great idea. Steeeches is absolutely correct spelling of the correct pronunciation. I have not checked my knitting speed lately but seem to be a middle of the sock camp crew for speed. Also slow as molasses when I try to practice level knitting. Think I need another lesson from Steph. Happy Knitting, Alice
Tina,
I think that on Saturday in Port Ludlow, the range for Group I (or was it Group II?) was between 17 and about 35 STPM, averaged over 3 minutes. That was using our choice of needles and De-Vine yarn, before Stephanie started to teach us lever knitting. So I don’t think there’s any way that you’re a slow knitter, except in comparison to folks like Stephanie, Amy and Meg.
Happy Holidays!
Linda
Tina,
I usually do about 40stpm. Fast compared to some, slow compared to others. However, I like to look at it this way: 40 x 60 = 2400 stitches per hour!! So, I figure while watching an hour long drama (or 3 episodes of Will & Grace off a DVD) I can knit about 2000 stitches (figuring some distraction, stitch petting, etc.) and that’s a pretty hefty number!
But no matter what speed any of us knit (or how we procrastinate) the bottom line is WE ARE KNITTERS and I am finding that to be the coolest thing of all.
Of course, if Speedy McPhee and her cohorts (you included) had not introduced me to socks, spinning, and dyeing I would probably be getting more non-sock knitting done (socks don’t count, geesh learning that alone has killed my production rate).
Happy Blue Moon and Happy New Year,
Sue