Hit me baby one more time.

Are you kidding me? Are you freakin kidding me?
Really, I want to know.  Holy @#$%, I cannot tell you how tired I am of this. Really. I’m so sick and tired of not being taken seriously because I sell yarn. I’m tired of the blank stare. I’m tired of the little condescending grin. I’m tired of the rolling of eyes. I’m tired of the conspiratorial glances.  I’m tired, sick and flippin’ tired, of not being taken seriously as a businesswoman because evidently selling yarn isn’t a lucrative business.  I mean really how could you possibly be successful selling yarn of all things and sock yarn to boot.
I don’t know why I continually say this is unbelievable because it happens again and again and again.  I think this eternal optimism of mine just might be hiding the real truth. I think it might be hiding the fact that I am a bit dim, a little on the slow side. It must be, because every single time it takes me by surprise.
Every single time.
Like when I get a call from the bank telling me that they’re not going to take my money because I must be running a scam because there could not be any possible way to bring in this kind of money this quickly by selling sock yarn. Surprise!
Or when someone decides what I need based on the selling of yarn or organizing a knitting conference or heaven help us a sock knitting conference. Surprise!
Even better yet when what I’m communicating about what I need based on what I know is second guessed or blatantly ignored. Surprise!
When I am not given all the information I need to do my job.  Surprise!
I mean really I couldn’t possibly need a dedicated server. There’s no way I would have that amount of traffic. Oh no lady you certainly do not need a storage pod that big for yarn.  I could not possibly need that kind of security or a specialized database. Oh no. No way.
I couldn’t possibly need to know that there is not one ramp and door to back up and unload at but two and other docks that big trucks can unload at. Because, of course, we are not going to bring truckloads of yarn in; we’re just going to be using a van or two. Seriously, what do they think we are filling that marketplace with? Legos? ( Don(tm)t get me wrong I love the lego.) It just couldn’t possibly be yarn.  Hell no, not yarn or anything used in relationship to it. No way baby.
Seriously?!
How could you possibly fill a market place that large with yarn. How could you possibly be bringing in truckloads of it. I do not know why I am continually surprised and staggered by this, but I am.  And this is where I am beginning to suspect the dimness on my part. Because I do keep falling for this.  I keep expecting my fellow humans to take me seriously especially when I am paying them well and on time.  I am usually an optimistic upbeat look on the bright side of things and enjoy how the world works and all the people in it that make it work that way girl. BUT this, this keeps happening over and over and it causes me to waste time and energy and sometimes to look like a fool (something I loathe) and
I feel resentful, frustrated and a bit angry. I am trying really hard not to take it personally.
Today is one of those days where I am not being very successful at it.
Sorry

p.s By the way that little code malfunction above isn’t really there. Just ignore it.

the dyer who couldn’t

I miss dyeing. I am a dyer, a job I love.
I am a dyer whose time is preoccupied with other jobs, a lot of them.  All of these jobs are important and need to get done and some of them of even fun
however, none of them are dyeing.
This has been weighing on my little colored heart lately and inspired some “interesting” late night musing.

You know that moment when you are filling out an “official” form, and you come to the line that asks for occupation? Well,I don’t know about you but this has often caused me to pause and ponder . The pause is natural and logical if you are one of those people that change careers, work experiences...jobs. I am most certainly one of these people. In almost 52 ( shh) years wandering the planet I have been a sound engineer, sous-chef, manager, therapist, musician, baker, advocate for rape survivors and mother ( and yes I do consider this a job). These are the ones that stuck for the longest and meant the most.

The last 10 years I have spent dyeing and building my own business.  As a small ( I swear it is) owner one of the things you end up doing a lot and is not one of my favorite parts, is the filling out of the a-fore-mentioned forms.  At this point in time I am a business owner, CEO if you want the official title. Funny isn’t it? Makes me laugh all the time.
I wear many hats in running Blue Moon and in all honesty pretty much enjoy them all. Some of these jobs I rock at others not so much. I have learned just so much, a staggering amount of knowledge, experience and a ton in the personal growth and development department.
Running through all of this, every single fiber and thread of it is the thoroughly set truth that at my core I am a dyer. I have loved and learned from all of my career choices and they certainly mirror who I am. This whole dyeing thing though, it is cellular for me, my life-blood. It physically hurts (someone) if I go too long without mixing powdered colors together to translate what I have seen or dreamed or feel or love onto yarn. It has been too long, way too long.
So today I am a dyer that is not only going to work on sock summit, ad work, pattern proofing, write a blog post… but since my head is so full of color thoughts I am also going to take a couple of hours and go play in the barn with dye and yarn.

p.s. You know that dream I had of a marketplace filled with us dyers?  Guess what? It is really happening. We have so many hand dyers coming to be a part of the Sock Summit Marketplace. Have you seen that vendor list?  So much color joy. If you cannot find me at the summit just look up because I will be floating on a color cloud.
I almost feel like we should give the marketplace a name to reflect all of the color glory.  Any thoughts on this?