to give is to…

I am sitting here knitting on a gift I need to mail out soon, trying to stay warm (thank you sheepies) and thinking about the ways I love this time of year. The holiday part of it and the extreme you never know what you are to going to wake up to weather part.  I have a hard time sleeping there is so much energy the air crackles with it.

I love the music, the lights everywhere, especially the little white ones that line the streets. I love the aroma of winter with its frostiness nipping my nose and fingers and then the hint of ginger and cinnamon when you head inside where you are greeted by the warmth of baking cookies and hot cider.
So many things to love about this season but the one that keeps me awake the most (there is a deadline) and brings me the greatest comfort and joy is the giving.

I was blessed in my childhood with Winnie and Johnny my beloved grandparents. They both were lovely generous souls.  Johnny especially so, he would give you the shirt off his back if he thought you needed it . I grew up watching him make people happy and witnessing this spreading of joy.  And Christmas time, oh my goodness he was an angel a very tall, scraggly, chain smoking angel but an angel he most certainly was.
I was his elf...his helper. We delivered food to families in need collected gifts for children and volunteering where needed. He spread love and joy everywhere he went and it was returned to him twofold.
I will never forget driving home with him after one of these excursions, The radio was playing some holiday favorite, we were merrily humming along when I noticed it was just me singing. I looked over and there were tears running down his face.  I don’t think I had ever since him cry so was a bit shaken by this. He noticed I had stopped singing and looked over at me and registered my concern.
He chuckled and patted my leg and told me not to worry he just was so happy.
There are so many ways and places to give of ourselves.  From presents to loved ones to those in need to the planet we grace . So many ways and certainly not limited to a certain time of year.

Giving has many forms and faces in as many scenarios.

I have need thinking about the gifts I am making for friends and family for Christmas.

Giving gifts...whether it is going to my one of my favorites stores and purchasing just the perfect thing for the person I want to gift or making something with my very own two hands for them or even writing a note from my heart or diving into my present stash.
(I swear I have one. Don’t you?) there is not much other than that whole color texture thing that I enjoy more.
And I don’t mean to toot my own horn here but I am pretty good at it too. Ask any of my friends and family. Gift giving is one of my superpowers. Thank you Johnny.
A friend told me a few years ago that though I was great at the giving end I was not so great at the receiving end. I have thought a whole lot about this and I do not think it is true.  Giving is receiving. Isn’t that one of the universal truths?

When we give a gift we usually add a note or card or are there to tell the person what about them inspired us to think they would like what we have given them.
Sometimes the moment is so perfect this step is unspoken The love and magic fills the air between you. She opens the box that holds the sock monkey cookie jar and is so delighted and tickled because of course she loves sock monkeys beyond measure and a sock monkey cookie jar. Seriously outrageous . She is happy to have it but more than that happy that she is seen and appreciated and loved. And… in my experience that moment there is brimming and you both have received a gift.

How can all the joy and love you see on a child’s face when they get that one thing they wanted in their heart of hearts not make your own heart sing.
How can you not feel warmed to your toes when you walk next door to give your neighbor a box of cookies or a flower you picked on the way to the mailbox or a hug.

I am knitting gifts for Christmas. Just a few because time is short and I am a slow knitter.  I do not feel bad about being slow. I am fast at other things and well this is my peaceful place so slow is ok with me. I would like to be more efficient with it though.
As I knit these few fists for loved ones I was thinking that a really nice addition would be the story of this knit.  Since we pour so much of ourselves into what we create would in not enhance to share this part.

Something like this;
Leslie ( I have changed the recipients name to protect the innocent) I am gifting you this scarf I knit for you for Christmas, because I noticed that you are always putting your collar up against the cold to warm your neck. You still seem to be cold though so I am assuming this tactic is not working very well for you very well.
So I picked this very soft wool since you will be wrapping this around you neck and I want you to be cozy. I picked this shade of blue because you love blue and I though this would match the coat you wear and you do look really lovely in blue.
I made it a little extra long so you could wrap it around a time or two.
I was sitting watching Will and Grace the other night with e girls and working on this for you. I was thinking about that first time we went skating on the canal when we were teens and how even then your neck was cold. The I worried even though I have known you forever that maybe you secretly like you neck cold and well you can see where this is going.
Since you love words and I am hanging with “Rabia the wordsmith”, so there are a lot of them floating around. I am snagging some of your favorites and knitting then in here for you. You know the ones; raging, fundamental...brisk.
Whenever I work on this I feel like you are right here with me.
So my dear friend this is your new blue scarf knit by me for you and your cold neck.
p.s.  This scarf has been knit on the MAX, in Seattle, at a conference and late night in bed watching a movie.
love you
me

Something like that.

I decided on a walk recently that me theme for this holiday season would be comfort and joy. They seem to be in short supply and since we usually give out what we need them most then I think I might be covered on that whole not receiving thing.

gotta knit!